…in the last post my old friend Stevie came to mind.  Stevie passed on in July or August of 1969.  Stevie and I were part of a small cadre of hippies and acid heads trying to amuse ourselves in that old cow town known as Oklahoma City.  We would gather together in homes or out in the countryside and ingest as much righteous acid that was available.  There was a young woman in our crowd named Judy…not only was Stevie loosing his battle with leukemia, but Judy had a bad case of Hodgkins Disease.  By the time I met her, she had lost all of her hair and wore a really sexy blonde wig in replacement.  She and Stevie were such an inspiration.  They were living life as fully as possible because they actually knew that the rent was due on their lives.  Judy was sexy in fleeting sort of way…kinda Elvira Madigan meets the pretty blonde Michelle from the Mamas and the Papas.  Judy promised that she would sleep with every man that she wished to before she got really sick.  One night a group of us were at her home that she shared with a dancer who had a brother in LA that was really famous in the art world…we were impressed by these credentials.  Anyhow, I took photos of Stevie and Judy that night on the staircase of her home.  Of course, I have lost them along the way.  However, that night I was given a gift by this kind woman as she chose to bed me down.  I felt so flattered and was deeply touched by her loving choice…this song was playing that night…

 

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=sk3cU3U381g

…there is a great compilation called "I Remember" by the artist Joe Brainard.  I highly recommend it…He wrote it at least 40 years ago…Joe is now dead.  I remember meeting Joe a few times at a bar in the Village called the 9th Circle…Jackie Curtis and Hollywoodlawn were regulars there along with me and countless young gay hippies.  I remember getting into a ruckus at the 9th Circle one night because I had downed one too many 75 cent Budweisers and I had on a leather jacket and felt tough…I never wore the leather jacket again…it was too menacing….I have included a photo here that floats around my studio as a reminder of my youth…that is me on the left with three friends in Oklahoma…the other boy was my best friend.  His name was Stevie…Stevie died two years after this photo was taken…leukemia…I remember Stevie for many reasons…he touched me so deeply as a young boy…his spontaneous abandon!  This photo was taken in May of 1967…three months later I took LSD for the first time…I remember the abrupt changes in my life…I remember new doors opening…today I remember…yes, today I remember Stevie and the 9th Circle and Joe Brainard and Warhol Superstars and leather jackets and vanishing hippies and leukemia and Budweisers and Greenwich Village and Oklahoma summers and change……I remember all of it….

…of the night.  I find myself typing at the computer.  I have been stung by memory in the last few hours.  Friends from the past surfacing in different ways.  I am reminded of the good and the bad times and how these moments frame the present in the bittersweet forgotten rhythm.  All of this is good.  I get to have a look at the road I have taken and the continued healing into the moment.  All I can do is just breath into the acceptance of the past and all the misses and the gains that occured and move in…..deeper…closer to home…return to the Source.  No matter how deep I fall into forgetfulness…somewhere in there is the reminder…the gift….gracias por todo.

…that's what it has been the last few months.  Cookin' and bookin' in my studio.  Working hard and daily working.  Yesterday was a show in Pozos that I participated in and I came to the end of my candle….Last night I went to bed at 8pm and awoke this am at 7…It has been a ride and the ride will continue.  When people come to my studio…they often remark that I "must be having fun all the time".  Yes, quite frankly, it is fun, but there is this part of me that languishes in slovenly day dreams and procrastination. But one just has to pull it all together.  I feel like I am making up for lost time…those years in India and Oregon…those nights driving cabs…those endless evenings in bars in New York…but today…I drank the best cup of coffee that I have ever made and I toasted this life and all of its Magic and I pledged unending devotion to the Groove!  We are blessed in this time to be alive and in the creative mix.  It is a gift and my gratitude is going "Full Tilt Boogie"….

….have a lot in common but are separate occurances that continue to grab me by the hook.  Years ago…back in my days in India when I first arrived at Shree Rajneesh Ashram…I heard Bhagwan say:  "Be Still and Know"….that pretty much sums up all the teaching that is needed.  I hung around that rascal for 12 or so years before he died…eating and drinking from his most profound menu.  Two days ago, this journalist from the US asked me what it was like to be with a teacher where most of the reading public viewed his community as rather oddly tied to a possible faux teacher with 94 Rolls Royces.  The situation of the Master/Disciple relationship that those of us that were with Bhagwan had become a story in the tabloids and periodicals of the day…a lot of it was true and there was an equal amount of false speculation.  There was a story…..  The journalist's question the other day touched a spark in me.  I found myself telling him that I did not need to defend Bhagwan's actions and that explaining the relationship that I had with my teacher was almost impossible to grok by a Western Mind Set…Upon reflecting…I have realized that just relaxing into situations from the past and not riding some bronco of a story gives room for a quiet spaciousness and a presence that is just this…again…just this…all of this…nothing more…nothing less…this……….(smile)…Be Still and Know….

 

…and at the same time the ordinariness of this life continues to be the trump card.  We are always busy here tieing all the knots in the tapestry.  Life's amorphous design continues to fluctuate as we follow the curve.  Busy in the studio…house tours…buying into illusion…shedding what is not needed…growing older…keeping the costumes fresh…delighting in the revolving dance…that kind of stuff.  All of our critters keep us alive and well…but ultimately…I just needed to post in this blog and bring it all up to date…work on the Chapel of Jimmy Ray is picking up again…I am involved in a show next week in Pozos…starting a new series of assemblages…..taking the jump……